Monday, January 18, 2010

Weight & Me

First of all, Yay, this is only my second day as a ‘blogger’ and I’ve already got one follower! Thanks!

Anyway, today’s post is about weight – as I feel many of mine will be (not all, but many).
It’s the thing I think about the most– not boys, sex or money, my size. I’m obsessed, and I’ll happily admit that here, online, where know one really knows me, but in person, no way!

It’s hard to tell to my friends, as I’m quite serious. It’s not just something I say as a spur of the moment comment – and I know if my friends knew the extent to which this thing affects me they’d criticise me – or be jealous. I guess that’s so self-centred of me, but I want to be the ‘skinny one’ out of my group of friends, I can’t tell them how far I go to try to get to this position, as I’m sure they’d compete, and diet too – and I’d lose my little game. It’s easy for them though, they’re all naturally skinny.

I also can’t admit any weight issues I have to my family. They already think I’m obsessed, they haven’t said it explicitly, but I can tell by the little comments that they’re watching me. Like when I skip dinner, my mum will get angry, and my dad will say something like “make sure you’re eating properly” – in fact if I complain, moan or say anything, my dad tends to pull out that line.
My mum on the other hand confuses the fuck out of me, she’ll get all concerned if I miss dinner, but if I don’t go to the gym that day she’ll say something like “Oh you didn’t go to the gym today?” – as if I was disgustingly fat for not going.

So it’s my secret – just like other bloggers on this site with similar secrets. Isn’t it silly the way that people all round the world have the same issues?

Some blame the media, which I guess do have a lot to be responsible for, but for me, it’s people’s opinions’ that give me the most desire to slim down. I don’t want to be regular. I want to be small. Extra-small. A little person.
For me it’s not about getting control or finding an outlet to deal with issues in my life, it’s simply about losing weight, and being comfortable with myself.

What about you?


  1. Hey! Keep going with your blog, you always accumulate more readers as time goes by....

    For me, its mainly my opinion of myself. I'm the ballet dancer in my group. Medium height, physically strong and slender. I love the odd compliment (don't we all) but its mostly the feeling i get when i look in the mirror and know I've succeeded.
    Keep going, stay strong, and live life like there's no tomorrow.
    Xx. Lillie

  2. I was nodding my head in agreement as I read this post. I've not told any of my friends that I'm trying to lose weight. In fact, when I met up with an old friend after two months, I denied it when she asked me if I'd been dieting because she said I looked thinner. You know, nonchalant laughter when secretly you're thrilled inside. =p

    I'm doing this because I want to feel more confident about myself! High-five! (:

  3. I'm in the same boat, I haven't told my friends because they would criticise (and lie and say I'm fine) I can't tell my mum exactly what I'm doing because she is a nurse and she would flip. I am doing this to gain control over binging, because I am sick of it. And to be confident and like the was my ass looks in jeans for once in my life!

    Keep going with your blog, It helps, I promise!
    Love your title by the way, really funny!!
    stay strong,

  4. Totally in the same situation as you. I cant talk to anyone as they already think i'm crazy for counting caliores. But to make me happy i feel i need to be thin. I'm also a dancer so i do have a little bit of pressure coming from there. But im sure you can do anything you put your mind to.

    Welcome to blogger as well! Everone on here soon becomes like a second group of very supportive family and friends.

    Stay Strong.